Are You Unsettled?

This morning I sat in the large circle amidst the faithful seniors who attend my progressive relaxation class. “Deep breaths in through the nose and deep breaths out through the mouth,” I said. Five minutes into it, I realized I was having trouble relaxing. My heart stirred and I lost concentration. It became difficult to focus on the steps. I was actually having trouble leading the class!

 “What is going on Lord?” I asked. I opened my eyes and glanced around the room. Everyone else seemed relaxed. My eyes kept moving to one particular woman sitting to the right of me. No matter what I did, the unsettling progressed rather than my relaxation progressing.

 After forty-five minutes, I was relieved it was finally over. At the closing, I admitted to everyone my difficulty and unsettling spirit. I asked, “Is anyone struggling today?” My head instinctively turned toward the woman sitting to the right of me and I gently asked, “Lois, how are you doing today?”

 In front of the entire class she confessed, “I’m struggling.”  Tears formed while others gathered around to comfort. After a few moments, it was just the two of us.

 I sat with her hand in mine and listened to the pouring out of a wounded soul. Sorrow, grief, worry - all overflowed. Growing old can be difficult and this was one of those difficult aging moments.  Before parting, she laid her head on my shoulder and I prayed.

 “I just need to go up to my room now and have a good cry,” she said.

 I immediately reflected on those days in my own life filled with more tears than anything else.

 “All women should have a good cry day,” I told her.

 She smiled, squeezed my hand, and walked away.

 I watched the fragile eighty year old woman shuffle along. She made her way to the elevator, holding her tiny cane in one hand and a tissue in the other.

 At that moment, I realized something – today was not a day for me to relax, but to become unsettled.  In the middle of my unsettling heart, God brought me to a heart needing settling. I left thanking God for such a moment. I realized that though it seems I am at the facility to do music therapy, I understood it was for something far greater. I also recognized, no matter how old we are, women still suffer with wounded hearts. We still worry about every day issues, long for normalcy, and face the difficulties of growing old.  

Our journeys so often involve other people. Sometimes God stirs our hearts for a reason. On your journey, ask God to open your eyes to see the truth in all things. Ask God to open your heart to minister – wherever you are -  and whatever you are doing. Sometimes someone just needs a shoulder to lay their head on - God will take care of the rest.

 

May Your Journey Be Filled With Helping Others

The Blouse Lady

Yard Sales

So many of my journey moments happen at yard sales. I love going to yard sales. I used to think it was because of the treasures I might find but now I understand that it is because of the journey moment I will have.

My hair dresser - beautiful - a true special friend - recently moved to another salon. I love it! It is a quaint house painted in deep warm tones with lots of goodies every girl loves to look at. Designer hats, jewelry, and blouses are draped and placed at eye level all around the salon. Every nook and cranny has something for the eye to soak in and for the heart to long for.

Every time I had an appointment, my heart would somehow drag me to an area with all kinds of blouses - designed with such creativity. I kept eyeing a blouse I wish I could afford. I have never paid over forty dollars for a blouse - actually not even close to that. I know - being a pastor's wife and living on a budget, I could not imagine spending money I know needed to go some place else! Never - the less - God knows our hearts and He understands our longings and desires.

One yard sale morning I drove out to an area with beautifully over sized houses. Upon my entrance into the garage, I was met by a wonderful woman who appeared to be in her early fifties. She graced me with a large smile and before I could get anything out of my mouth she grabbed a blouse, held it up, and said, "I bought this at a local boutique and never wore it."

At that moment my eyes were scanning the rest of her things but when I looked up and made contact I was deeply surprised. She held high the blouse I so desperately longed for. She held in her hands the blouse my heart was drawn to every time I entered the boutique. I couldn't believe it. God had brought me to a place and to someone who would bless me!

Sold

Of course I bought the blouse for a mere $2.00. I thanked the Lord for the journey moment as well as the blessing. After that I wondered if the little boutique she had been speaking of was the one I go to. A few weeks later I went in for a trim. Around the corner I saw an older woman smiling at me as if she knew me. Her hair was getting colored so I couldn't really get a clear visual of who she was. I smiled back. She said, "I think I know you." I looked deeper and realized it was the blouse lady.

Overjoyed I asked, "Is this where you bought the blouse you never wore?" She nodded yes. I couldn't wait to tell her how I had my eyes on that blouse and how God used her to bless me. I didn't know if she was a Christian or not - I just blurted it all out adding every giggle and laughter along with it. She giggled too. We hugged and parted ways. God confirmed that yes - he really does care about our hearts and desires - but especially blessing us . . . even through a blouse lady.

Questions

While at a writing conference this past week, I came upon an older gentleman where I was staying. He asked a lot of questions - questions which would eventually lead to a conversation about Christ.

Questions #1

"What kind of writing conference are you attending?"

I told him that I was attending a Christian Writer's Conference. He suddenly perked up, moved closer, and tuned his ears to what I had to say.

Question #2

"What kind of Christian writing do you do?"

I told him that I wrote devotionals and Bible Studies. He clapped his hands and leaned in even more exclaiming, "This is so interesting!"

Question #3

"I have friends who are Muslim. They ask, "How can Christians serve a God who sends people to hell?"

I told him that God doesn't send people to hell. He created us to have a choice. God's greatest desire is that we would choose Him, but he does not force us to love him, serve him, or want to have him in our lives. He is a God that honors our choice whether good or bad. If we choose not to have him in our lives then that in itself is hell - whether here on earth or somewhere else.

Question #4

"How can you celebrate Easter when it is named after the sex goddess Ishtar?"

We do not celebrate Easter - we celebrate the Resurrection of Christ. Our focus is on Christ and his resurrection. We had a wonderful visit and after a while we parted. I thanked the Lord for allowing me to have a conversation about Him to this man.

My Question:

"Do you suppose that encounter with this man was coincidental or did God have something to do with it?

I happened to have been outside at that moment. I happened to have been staying at the same place he was staying. I happened to have been the one he asked the questions to. I didn't do anything anyone else couldn't do - I just made myself available for God to use.

Look for those encounters with others that God brings your way. Find him in the details of your walk. Ready yourself.

A Journey with Another

Over the past three years or so, I have been counseling and ministering to a young woman in great distress. She came into my life broken and beaten up. The main focus became her son and the conflict she was having with him. After a while I referred her to another family counselor. About a year later she would call again and I would retreat to that quiet place and pray that God would give me wisdom and words. After a long while of speaking I asked her if she was ready to come to know the Lord. Tearful and broken she said, "Yes."

She took her Bible and on the phone we went through the steps of coming to know Christ. She cried and prayed from her heart. She cried a prayer of desire - a prayer of need - a prayer of yearning. No matter what she had been facing or will be facing she now could rest assured that the Lord is going to help her and she could have peace in Him. The Lord has always wanted to have her life - her problems - her worries. With the Lord she could now find peace and rest in the midst of her struggles.

I never met her son though I heard so much about him I still prayed for him and his relationship with his mother. Then through a chain of events the Lord would, several years later, bring us together. I would now be able to put a face to the name I had heard so often.

Wednesday evening I met with a member at our local recreation center to help get the sound system set up for the next morning. My friend and I would be singing for the National Day of Prayer. A young man stood by the stage and I was introduced to him. I heard the name - a common name - and didn't think anything of it. When I teach my class I tell people to "notice everything" around them. God is working in the details.

Busy working in my area, I looked up and noticed that the woman's ex-husband was standing next to this young man speaking to him way off on the far side of the building. I stopped and stared for a moment listening for God to speak. I then put it all together. The young man's name came back to my attention and then I realized that they were father and son. I then realized that the Lord had brought me face to face with a young man I had heard so much about, spent time praying for, at times defending to his mother and there I was standing next to him. Finally the Lord would bring us together.

I now know where he has been working for the past four years. He has seen me too know and knows that I have been working with his mother. I have no doubt that this is the beginning of something good. My encounter that day with this young man was not an accident nor a coincident, but a journey moment from God. At just the right moment God would bring us together - though several years later.

Look for those encounters with others today. Ask God how you might be able to minister to them or maybe their task is to help you today. Find God working today. Find him in the details. Have a successful journey!

Office Call

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

A small tap on the shoulder and a sweet whisper brought morning earlier than my desire.

“Telephone for you, mom,” came the soft voice from my eight-year-old son. “Doesn’t anyone sleep in on Saturdays anymore?” I thought while taking the phone. Clearing my raspy voice, I said, “Hello?”

I tried to listen as she spoke her name and shared where she was calling from but sleep lingered in the air. I understood the words, "doctor’s office." so I sat upright in bed to pay attention.

“How are you doing?” she asked. I could feel the smile through the phone. Cheery, uplifting, and personal - definitely someone of an early morning nature.

I began to tell her about my neck and the pain that appeared to be getting worse. I shared about how the terrible stiffness in my neck had broadened, making its way toward the back the throbbing increasing the whole while.

“Have you started your antibiotic?” She said in a nice tone. I assured her that I had. “Well, give it some time to work.”

By that time, I gathered my thoughts and appreciated the phone call from the office. “What a wonderful doctor’s office I have!” I thought to myself.

Upon further explanation that seemed to go on and on, she finally asked, “Have you tried the heating pad?” I shared that I just bought one and it did seem to help quite a bit.

We must have spent about fifteen or twenty minutes on the phone talking and sharing about neck stiffness, joint aches, pain, and remedies as well as my recent visit to the doctor’s office. We tried to solve it all. I took that opportunity to pour it all out and she took that opportunity to listen and share helpful tips. After the long conversation and after I felt I had said all there was to say, I ended it with, “Well, thank you for the call!”

Suddenly, as if in slow motion, I heard the words, “Oh, I just called to tell Dave his crown was in.”

I was motionless, speechless, and unresponsive. Did I hear that right? She just called to tell my husband that his crown was in. Whom was I speaking with on the other end of the phone? I suddenly realized that it was not my doctor’s office that called, but my husband’s dentist office!

Boy did I feel silly! "Oh - okay, I'll let him know," I said in dismay - hanging the phone up. Later I reflected back on that moment (all the while laughing) about how God had placed a wonderful woman on the phone who had called for some other reason than to listen to me, share with me, or help me. Never-the-less - she did. She took the time out of her busy morning. . . . She took the time to sit with a complete stranger on the phone and listen to her ramble on about her neck issues. . . . She took the time to provide helpful tips. . . she took the time. . . she took the time.

My journey that morning with a complete stranger opened my eyes. I was reminded of how little time I spend listening. I was reminded of how "my agenda" seems to take over. I was reminded that our encounters with others have meaning and purpose. I was reminded that God really does care about our little issues in life. I was reminded that I too need to take the time. . . I too need to take the time.

God's Provison

Years ago many of my friends and family members were prompting me to make a CD of my original music. I dug my heels in for quite some time. I guess deep in my heart I didn't feel I was good enough for something like that. After many prompts I agreed that I would pray about it and seek confirmation from the Lord. Sure enough after praying about it one evening, the next morning I found in the scripture to "publish my works. Sing to the world a new song."

At that moment I truly felt the Lord say that I should move forward with this project - and so I did. I raised all of the support that I needed for the project except the last $1,000.00. Suddenly everything came to a halt. At first I waited patiently but then when the months started passing by I became worried. After six months I started pleading - After nine months passed, I started trying to figure out who I could call and borrow the money from - and as it drew closer to a year I started getting angry - and with God! I became a complete mess. At the same time this was going on, no one called and asked, "Where's my CD?" No one harassed me for their product. No one approached me about any of that - they simply waited for it to come forward. After wrestling about the funds and coming to the conclusion that I could do nothing about it - I simply gave up. I surrendered. I threw my hands up in the air. I put the breaks on all of my dysfunctional emotions and released them to the Lord.

Sometimes our journey lessons do not come easily. Sometimes our journey moments and lessons are a process and take a little longer than we would like. The Israelites spent 40 years in the desert. They received lesson after lesson and yet so often they didn't "get it." Their lessons were difficult and trying. Their lessons involved becoming emotional, waiting upon the Lord, and trusting; something we all struggle with.

But God is God and all of His wisdom is greater than our thoughts or minds and we do not get to see the big picture of the puzzle until He reveals it. About a week after I surrendered everything to the Lord, I received a phone call from a woman, an older woman, who had no idea I was doing a recording project. She simply said, "Tina, I have something I would like to bring over for you."

It is not unusual for us to receive pies and goodies like that - being a pastor's family. She rang the door bell, I waited, and she handed me an envelop. She told me that she would have had it sooner but was waiting on it to come in. I didn't know what "it" was until I opened the envelop and saw the check written for $1,000.00. My heart sank. I cried. I felt horrible that I had put up such a fit about the finances when the Lord had it all figured out after all.

You see - during that waiting period, God placed upon the heart of another to bless me. He was waiting on her to act on that - she was waiting on the money so that she could act - and the Lord blessed me on the project in the meantime. God is good. He does know what He is doing. He will take care of you.

May your journey this week be a journey of hearing and waiting patiently upon the Lord - and may you see the miracle when it arrives.