I Want That!

There will be days when our journeys are filled with emotion, wants, and desires. When those days surface it makes for a lousy journey. The other day I stumbled through the morning, down the stairs, and through the living room. Every time I pass through the living room I cringe. I absolutely hate the set up. I have moved my furniture around at least 50 times and have yet to come up with something that I like. I'm tired of the mix matched yard sale chairs, the over sized hand me down recliners, and the cheap brown couches. Nothing matched and nothing fit! I desperately wanted new furniture.

Our living room is long and rectangular. The fire place is at one end while the television connections are at the other end. You really need two living spaces but the room isn't that big. Either way - I haven't been able to make any sense out of it and it has really caused me a great deal of stress.

I moved a piece of furniture and then stomped to the kitchen to do some dishes while I contemplated the next move. All the while a large list of wants ran through my thoughts. My spirit began to stir. I wanted to cry. I scrubbed on a spoon and then grabbed hold of a spatula. At that moment I pulled the end right off the spatula and couldn't get it back on. It was done - finished. I was too.

Its funny how the smallest things can push you right on over the edge. Who knew that a broken spatula would do that for me? I told my son that I needed to go upstairs and pray for a while. I fell to the floor and the dam broke. Tears saturated the carpet and kept coming! It was as if a volcano had erupted! I had no idea I had been carrying so much. I emptied every emotion, need, and want at the Lord's feet.

After the tears slowed for a moment I picked up my Bible and turned to the reading for that day. Still dripping with emotion, my eyes fell upon the Psalm.

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want."

Wow! I had to read it again. I shall not want. The Lord's Spirit moved me so much that I cried again. For the first time in my life I understood this Psalm in a different light. I have read Psalm 23 for years but it had never touched me like this.

"He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul;"

At that moment, I felt the Lord touch me. My soul needed to be restored. I needed to lie before the Lord and weep. I needed to rest in the green pastures and beside the quiet waters. I needed restoration. My soul and heart had become weary over things that didn't matter. The Lord was my shepherd - I shall NOT want.

Sometimes our attention and focus is directed toward things on our journeys that do not matter. It is okay to want, wish, and desire. God has blessed me with wants, wishes, and desires in the past and he will do the same for you. However, this particular want had completely taken over my life. I couldn't enjoy sitting in my living room - though others could. I couldn't find content with the things I had - though others could.

God really did a work in my heart that day. I realized that I needed to turn my attention and focus back to where it needed to be - on God. I have no doubt that one day he will bless me with new furniture. But it will be in his timing and when I have completely surrendered to finding peace with what I have. So for the time being . . . "I shall not want."

Finding God in the details of that passage changed my heart, my thoughts, and my life.