In the book Wounded Women of the Bible, Dena Dyer
and I touch on the wounds we face in relationships. Sadly, so many of our
wounds come from hurting one another in our relationships. God’s intent for us
to have mates was not to tear each other apart or live in disharmony and dysfunction.
His desire was for us to have perfect fellowship, serving one another in love,
and embracing the unity He willing gave us.
When sin entered the
picture, everything changed. Suddenly it’s all about us, our needs, and our
wants. We have become two needy people with fleshly wills and desires.
Expectations rise, battles are sparked, and wars become ongoing. Suddenly we’re extremely unhappy and terribly miserable
in our marriages.
But
the reality is this: No one can truly meet my need the way Christ can. If I
feel I have certain expectations of my husband and he does not meet them, then
I am still a woman in need. I think I
might need my husband to perform a certain way, but what I really need is to find out why.
Tom would say, “To
focus our energy on having someone, even a spouse, meet a need for respect and
consideration and getting angry when that person does not meet that need is to
fail to recognize the reality that God has already been meeting that need with
His own loving respect and consideration for me.”
We are much healthier in our
relationships when we no longer need
our mates to meet unhealthy needs in our lives. We are much healthier in our
relationships when we recognize we have a need and turn to God to meet it.
Freedom
awaits – the freedom to love, commune, and fellowship in the ways God intended.
It's never too late to start working on you - you might be surprised as to how it changes your relationship.
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